


Whore

by DontRememberMe



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Mild Language, Possessive Behavior, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 21:18:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11113068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontRememberMe/pseuds/DontRememberMe
Summary: Eren sees Mikasa as nothing but a stress reliever, but Mikasa sees Eren as more. As much as it kills her to keep up with it, as sick and dirty as it makes her feel, she does it anyway because she loves him. She always has.If it keeps him happy, she will be his Whore.





	Whore

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction was inspired by In This Moments amazing song, "Whore". Lyrics are included.

Eren and Mikasa had been in a relationship of sorts over the past few weeks, if one would even call it that. How he felt and how she felt were two of opposite things. She always wanted more, Eren however... That was a different story.

"E-Eren... Please... Don't leave yet..." She spoke quietly, nuzzling into her bed sheets that still had his scent lingering on them. He was everywhere... In her mind, his scent in the white fibres of where she slept, in her heart...

 

I'm the girl you've been thinking about, The one thing you can't live without...

I'm the girl you've been waiting for, I'll have you down on your knees, I'll have you begging for more!

You probably thought I wouldn't get this far, You thought I'd end up in the back of a car.

You probably thought that I'd never escape, I'd be a rat in a cage, I'd be a slave to this place.

You don't know how hard I fought to survive, Waking up alone when I was left to die.

You don't know about this life I've lived, All these roads I've walked, All these tears I've bled!

 

Her voice was sad as it broke against her will, she knew he could hear it, but, regardless, he chose to make it the last thing to think about.

"Mikasa, you knew what this was... I warned you a good few times before we started this..." He glanced over his shoulder for a mere second before he shrugged his shirt back on.

"I know you did..." She looked down, her eyes starting to sting again like they did every time he was finished with her.

She did all she could to will her body to stop shaking, gripping the sheets tighter and tighter until her knuckles turned white or until she thought her nails would tear through the sheets.

"Then you shouldn't ask me things you already know the answer to... Look, I'm sorry you feel this way, but there's nothing I can do about that..."

"You could stay with me..."

Her voice was barely above a whisper as she closed her eyes tightly, hearing the sound of his trousers and belt being pulled up and fastened. She hated this part the most. She thought she would get used to it, the sight of him leaving, with the number of times they've been together like this, but that wasn't going to happen... And she knew that.

She hated that.

"How many times have you asked me to do that..." He sighed in slight annoyance

She stayed silent, knowing herself that the exact number was uncountable by now.

"Exactly." Eren continued "I just can't, alright? I'll come get you next time I need you."

"A-Alright... Fine..." She curled her bare body up into a tight and secure ball, gripping the sheets tighter in her hands.

It was then he left her alone, the silence suffocating her in the now larger-appearing room after the sound of the door closing rang through her ears almost endlessly.

Her heart sank lower and lower as the lonely seconds ticked by as she fell more into her pit of despair, wishing that her sorrow could overrun her and drown her as if it was like water to the point of no return, such a fate would be a lot less painful than this... Anything would be.

"I love you, Eren..." She muttered into the stained sheets, her voice barely echoing through the empty room.

 

So how can this be? You're praying to me...

There's a look in your eyes, I know just what that means...

I can be, I can be your everything...

 

Their somewhat of a relationship was complicated to say the least... Mikasa fell more and more into a darkness she couldn't claw her way back from. Eren was no help, his attitude incomprehensible and unbelievable. He didn't want her the way she wanted him, she was just a stress reliever. However, he didn't want anyone else to have her. The other Soldiers, their friends, noticed something was indeed wrong... But they couldn't understand. No one could. She was alone indefinitely.

This was another night Mikasa would cry herself to sleep after Eren left, the same sinking feeling every day getting more and more unbearable. She would do anything to stop feeling like this, she was always so composed, but when it came to Eren... She was different, vulnerable.

And he knew that.

The next morning, she didn't wake up any different than any other day. It was more often than not that she woke with dried tears on her face, red nails marks made deep into the palms of her hands. She would often dream about what she could never have. Him.

She rubbed her face and winced at the strong headache that always came come morning light, moving slowly. She took a glance at her reflection and felt sick instantly, quickly falling to her knees and throwing up, her hands turning into fists as she violently threw up, not that it was much regardless. She had started to lose weight since her and Erens sessions started. She hated herself more, for not being good enough for him to want her more. She breathed heavily as she glared at the mess she had made, sweat rolling down her body as she leant herself against the cold wall. She took a moment to try and compose herself before she made herself get up to clean the mess, her stomach still aching.

She changed into her uniform slowly, trying to ignore the bruises and bite marks Eren had left on her body the night before, running her fingertips over each one none the less as she daydreamed dully. It was when she was shrugging on her jacket that she glanced over her shoulder, hearing a knock on her door. Her breath hitched in hope, her first thought going towards Eren. She sighed and shook her head, ignoring the pang of disappointment and pain when her more logical thoughts concluded that it was probably just everyone's usual wake up call.

Until there was another knock, this one more louder and quicker, almost desperate, than the first.

She wasted no time in opening it slightly on the chance it was another Soldier or a friend, the last thing she needed was someone asking her for the hundredth time if she was okay.

"J-Jean?... What are you doing here?..." She blinked.

She didn't expect this.

And if Eren was to see...

Fuck.

She quickly glanced at either side of the corridor before she sharply pulled him inside, feeling the blood run from her face. Eren was never physically abusive when it came to her, he would never be. But when it came to other people, specifically Jean or anyone else really, then there was trouble...

This was exactly what she couldn't understand about him. He didn't want her, he never would, but he didn't want anyone else to have her. She was trapped, very much as if it were a loveless marriage.

Hell, she contemplated even settling for that if he was going to act this way... She would kill for okay.

"M-Mikasa? What was t-that about?..." Jean stuttered nervously, he'd never even got close to her room before, let alone be inside it.

"S-Sorry... It's just... You know what? N-Never mind..." She looked down and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Jean glanced at her, suddenly forgetting why he came here in the first place when he noticed something.

"W-What is that?..." He cautiously stepped forward seeing Mikasa not her usual self, he lightly reached forward to move some of her hair, seeing a bruise on her neck.

"What the- Did Yeager do that to you?..." He narrowed his eyes slightly

Her eyes widened and she bit her lip hard enough to taste a metallic taste in her mouth as she kept her gaze downcast.

"Mikasa... If he is... I can-"

"No, you can't. Forget you even saw anything. It's nothing, Jean" She spoke flatly.

"Mikasa, if he's hurting yo-"

"He's not hurting me!" She screamed, finally looking up, her already breaking composure snapping.

Something wet hit the floor, when did she start crying?...

She breathed heavily and touched her cheek, feeling the tears that were running down her face. Jeans eyes widened and he walked closer to her, offering her his hand steadily. He'd only seen her cry one when everyone else did, when she saw that Eren was alive and still breathing with a beating heart. Of course the only one other time involved Eren too...

"Mikasa-"

"Please just go!"

Another sharp knock at the door, this time, she knew who it had to be. And if she wasn't fucked before, she was sure as Hell fucked now. It was dangerous sounding and loud, enough to make her heart stop.

"Jean, you have to leave, now."

"No, I can handle-"

"You can't!"

"Mikasa!" Erens voice came from the door. It was angry and dangerously unpredictable.

She glanced to Jean with a worried expression, before she knew it, Eren opened the door, it hitting off the wall with a loud bang.

"The Hell is this, huh?!"

"E-Eren, please, he was just-"

"Just what?! Trying to make another pathetic fucking move on you?! Like fuck he is!" His glare was full of fire, his hands clenched in a white-knuckle grip as she stared Jean down.

"You can't treat her the way you are, Yeager! You're the reason she's been different! Look at her!" Jean exclaimed angrily "Bastards like you make me wanna throw up!"

"Mikasa, what the fuck have you been telling him?!"

"N-Nothing! E-Eren, just leave it, h-he just came here a-and-"

"And what?! Did he touch you?!"

Eren refused to break his gaze from Jeans, both males in a stand off. The tension and silence cutting through Mikasa like a knife.

"N-No, E-Eren, He didn't..."

"Are you not hearing the fucking shaking in her voice?! You're scaring her! Hell, you're even hurting her! I can see the damn bruises, Yeager!"

Eren growled dangerously, he'd had enough. He swiftly moved and pinned Jean to the opposite wall by his throat, his hands gripping Erens to try and ease his grip.

"F-Fucking Monster!" He spat

Eren narrowed his eyes and tightened his grip.

"Stay. Away. From. Her."

He let him go and pushed him back against the wall sharply again before pushing him towards the door and walking towards Mikasa, pulling her close to him by her waist almost protectively as he continued to glare at the other male.

"M-Mikasa, you know where to find me..."

"She doesn't want you, Idiot." He glanced at her and quickly tilted her chin up, taking them by surprise and kissing her deeply in front of him. The increasing grip on her hip signalled for her to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him back. So she did.

She was in love with this Monster after all...

 

I can be your whore!

I am the dirt you created, I am your sinner, I am your whore

But let me tell you something baby; You love me for everything you hate me for

I'm the one that you need and fear... Now that you're hooked, it's all becoming clear that all your judgments that you placed on me, was a reflection of discovery

So maybe next time when you cast your stones from the shadows of the dark unknown you will crawl up from your hiding place, take a look in the mirror, see the truth in your face!

 

Jeans face fell instantly, the one person he had adapted feelings for kissing someone else in front of him. He felt the air leave his lungs and his chest burn. He glanced to Mikasa in concern, seeing the look on her face. It was obvious she loved Eren, it always had been. Even with how he was treating her now...

Jean scrambled to leave her room, a million thoughts running through his head. He'd keep this all to himself for now, at least until he assessed that Mikasa was in no immediate danger. Eren had tried to kill her once before and he wouldn't pass over the thought that Eren would do it again if he lost control once more, whether it be in Titan or Human form.

"You let him in here?" He spoke flatly against her lips, clenching his jaw "What the fuck did I tell you before? Especially about fucking Horseface of all people."

"I-I'm sorry-"

"Did he touch you?"

"N-No, but, Eren-"

"I don't fucking like him being anywhere near you, Mikasa. You know that. Why would you let him in?!"

Mikasa flinched a bit and pulled herself closer to his all-too-hot body, wrapping her arms around his neck tighter. She could have sworn he had slipped up and let his tone falter, even through the anger, just a little. Was that fear of all things?...

 

So how can this be? You're praying to me...

There's a look in your eyes, I know just what that means...

I can be, I can be your everything...

 

Her breath hitched at his frightening tone and she could do nothing but press her lips against his, feeling more tears stain her pale face. Eren was quick to kiss her back, biting her lip harshly, causing a groan to escape her throat.

It was true of course, that Eren had shown her a new type of love that had existed, even though all he wanted was the lust from it. He made her feel pleasures she never thought existed. It was heightened even more at the face that it was all him doing it. Giving her feelings he had never known she wanted all this time. She wouldn't change her mind about the offer Eren had given her those few weeks ago. She liked what he did to her, how he made her feel in their moments of heated pleasure. No matter how dirty or worthless she felt afterwards.

It was just the aftermath that killed her slowly day by day.

Erens hands roamed her body, his previous anger from before fueling and fighting with the lustful feeling he felt growing more. He had to prove she was his, even though he wanted nothing more from her.

There was an annoying feeling, however, that Eren couldn't identify that lingered in his chest. As much as he tried to suppress it, he felt it become more bothersome each day that passed. He would try to relieve as much stress as he could with Mikasa on their free days, trying to make the feeling go away.

But it never did.

In fact, the more he tried, the more it stayed, the stronger it felt.

And that just frustrated him more.

Mikasas dull eyes glazed over as she started to breathe heavier, her breath hitching, when Eren kissed and grazed his sharp teeth along her jaw line, moving to latch onto her neck that was still coated in possessive bruising. He kissed and bit down roughly over previous marks, but also creating new ones in unclaimed pale skin as he growled slightly.

"You're mine, Mikasa... No one else's. Mine." He hissed against her pulse point

She nodded helplessly as her tears landed on the collar of her military jacket, creating dark spots wherever they fell.

 

I can be your whore!

I am the dirt you created, I am your sinner, I am your whore

But let me tell you something baby; you love me for everything you hate me for

I am the dirt you created, I am your sinner, I am your whore

But let me tell you something baby;

You love me! you want me! you need me!

 

"You can't be with anyone else but me, is that clear?"

"Y-Yes..."

Yes, Mikasa was attractive. She was unique, being one of the last remaining people with an Asian heritage. It had given her amazingly different traits; black silky hair that people often admired, dark eyes that caught the sun perfectly, fair and oriental skin that made it appear as if she was made from porcelain...

It was true, she was beautiful.

To her, however, she was so sick of herself. She couldn't stand peering into the mirror in her room. She was outstanding in everything and accomplished anything she needed to. Apart from obtaining Erens heart, making him fall for her like she fell for him. There was something in his head she knew was there, a feeling, something he couldn't understand.

Eren loved her traits the way everyone else did, the fact that it made people want her for themselves pissed him off to no end. He hated her for that, but admired it at the same time. It was a vicious cycle to like someone for everything you hated them for. And as much as he hated to admit it, he needed her.

She was so perfect in everything, a benefit from their sessions was that he would get to wreak her, make her imperfect and beg even, make her lose her stoic professional composure she always had and worked so hard on. This was one thing he was good at, better than her at. He liked making her skin imperfect from its unscathed appearance, often being too good for anyone or anything to leave a mark on her body.

 

I can be your whore! 

am the dirt you created, I am your sinner, I am your whore

But let me tell you something baby; You love me for everything you hate me for

I can be your whore!

But let me tell you something baby; you love me for everything you hate me for.

 

As they started yet another session, the clothes she just dressed in for a day of work slowly fell off her lithe body by his hands one by one, her jacket the first to hit the floor. His mouth and teeth created yet more dark marks on her skin, his hands roamed every inch of her perfection to make her beg for him. He undressed himself after unwrapping his morning treat of usual stress relief and hoisted her up, wrapping her already-weak-at-the-knees legs around his toned waist as she moaned needily for him. He needed reassurance she knew who she belonged to, and he knew just how to get it. Just like every other occasion they had when someone even looked at her for too long. It was always his name she moaned, begged for, screamed and cried out in the session afterwards. He wasted no time in getting what he needed from her, roughly pinning her against the wall sharply, the grip her legs had around his waist just strong enough that he could pin both her wrists above her head with one hand and hold her waist with the other for a more secure and rough enough fucking.

As much as it killed her, blead her beaten heart out thoroughly till there was nothing left, made her hate herself... She was his. And she wanted nothing less than that.

Regardless of everything screaming at her in the one-half of her sensible, split sided part of her mind, if it made him happy, she would be his Whore.


End file.
